A yummy oatmeal alternative...

In my quest for a healthy oatmeal alternative--you can only eat oatmeal for so long-- I purchased Bob's Red Mill 5 Grain Rolled Oat Cereal the other day. I've tried several other of Bob's multi-grain hot cereals and this latest version is much better than the 10 grain chicken-feed-looking stuff I had been eating!

The cereal cooks up kind of creamy, with only water added, and a serving is just 120 calories. I added a Bosc pear, a teaspoon of brown sugar, a sprinkle of cinnamon, and popped it in the microwave. I must say, it was delicious! Definitely an excellent choice when you are tired of your usual, plain old oatmeal!

The cereal.

A pear instead of my usual apple was awesome!

The green smoothie!

Now and then a person happens upon a little something that is a potential life changer. Sometimes it’s something big- sometimes it’s not. Last week, I happened upon a little something that could be potentially major! What you ask? (Drum roll here...) Well, a bright green smoothie recipe of course!

While spending some quality time on the frightfully addicting Pinterest site, I happened upon the simplest of smoothie recipes. A smoothie that packs in nearly a day’s allotment of the recommended fruit and veggies? Are you kidding me?

I headed to the store and bought the ingredients. Spinach, check. Frozen peaches and berries, check. Bananas, check.

For those of you lost at spinach, don't fret. I like spinach and even I was hesitant at first- but, determined nonetheless, to whip up this green concoction and head down the road to better health.

I tossed the ingredients in the blender, added some water and voila! A bright green smoothie!

I slowly took a sip and much to my surprise and relief, it tasted A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Could it be that simple? Blend a few ingredients that pack such a MAJOR health punch? You bet!

And while my body isn’t sure exactly what to think of the sudden daily flood of nutrients, it is adjusting rather nicely. I’m on day eight of the green wonder drink and I feel pretty awesome. Give it a try! Your body (and taste buds) will love it!

Green Smoothie for Weight Loss

(http://lindawagner.net/blog/2011/03/green-smoothie-for-weight-loss/) 
    * 1-2 bananas
    * 1/2 cup frozen peaches
    * 1/2 cup frozen mango
    * a couple handfuls of spinach
    * water
    * ice (if desired)

Strawberries and peaches.

Blackberries, strawberries, and peaches.

*My grocery store was out of frozen mangoes so I substituted strawberries and blackberries. The color isn't Shrek green like the original recipe produces,  but more of a pea soupy green; it gets even brownish with blackberries.  I use two large handfuls of spinach, two bananas,  a cup of each fruit and two cups of water, along with a tablespoon of chia seeds. I get about 25 oz. of the green stuff and sip on it for quite a while.

The original recipe!

Facing fears and finding me...

Part of truly being yourself is owning your story. Today, I'm owning a pretty big part of mine...


I did something today that absolutely T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D me, something I have avoided- successfully or not, depending upon how you look at it- for years. My heart is still pounding a bit, but thanks to one-click shopping at Amazon.com I didn't have time to stop and think before I tossed it into my virtual cart. Boom, it was done. No going back. I had to face this once and for all.

Anti-climactic, I know, but the big, scary thing I did was order a digital scale, something I haven't owned for years. For many people, hopping on the scale is not a big deal, but, as a person that has battled an eating disorder for a good share of my 40 plus years, the thought of owning and stepping on a scale is absolutely terrifying. This scale, for me, represents the fact that I have kicked my disorders in the ass once and for all. This scale represents the fact that I am ready to honestly and openly tackle my weight issues. I couldn't be more scared and excited at the same time. Correction, I couldn't be more absolutely terrified...

My descent into the world of eating disorders started around junior high. Bulimia, coupled with an exercise compulsion, was the eating-disorder-drug-of-choice for me.  I also had my days that I didn't eat at all but those days were always followed by giant binges, hours upon hours of exercise, and usually ended with me hovering over the toilet puking my guts out. For me it was about control- one of the few things I could control at that time in my life- and of course, the weight loss. Thus the ride began, a ride that I'd be on for years.

The very worst of the binging, purging, and exercising lasted until high school then it tapered off a bit, rearing it's ugly head time and time again when my life spun out of control. I finally kicked the purging in my 20's, I didn't want my kids to have a mother that was so messed up. I quit puking cold turkey and considered my battle done. Boy, was I wrong.

A funny thing happened  after the purging stopped, the binging got worse. The weight crept on and before I knew it the scale topped 200 pounds. That's when I stopped getting on. To actually own up to that number makes me cringe. In my head I wasn't an obese person, but photos told otherwise. The person I saw in the mirror wasn't me.

A few years into my weight gain, with the encouragement and support of my best friend, I joined Weight Watchers. I had to get on a scale every week. The shock of my starting weight still haunts me but the shock factor must have worked. The pounds dropped off. I looked and felt like ME for the first time in years.

The weight stayed off until my early 30's when I returned to a desk job, quit smoking, and got lazy. I don't remember gaining weight or buying bigger pants, it seemed to just sort of happen. Before I knew it, I was in a size 18 and back to where I began years earlier. This time around though, I somehow developed a huge fear of owning and getting on a scale. I wonder if there is a name for that? Scalaphobia maybe?

The last time I weighed myself was probably in 2003 and it wasn't pretty. The scale, an object that I had obsessed over incessantly when I was in the grips of my eating disorder, had once again become an obsession for me. I had suddenly become obsessed with never getting on one. Weight is so much easier to ignore if it doesn't have a number. It doesn't have a number if you never step foot on a scale.

Over the years, I have rationalized this avoidance of the scale by blaming my eating disorder itself. Crazy isn't it? Self-talk is powerful. I justified my not owning a scale by somehow convincing myself that I could easily slip back into the grips of  my disorder if I were to resume getting on one. That excuse worked for me for years... until today that is.

It suddenly struck me (more like a giant thump to the forehead) that I am a very emotionally healthy, well-rounded (no pun intended) adult. I have accomplished so many things in my life yet my weight issues are always front and center in my mind. Quite frankly, I'm tired of it. It's time to put on my big girl panties (once again, no pun intended) and face it once and for all. I am so excited to face my fear and find ME again after all these years.

I know that ordering the scale is just the first step in the long process of dropping the weight and sustaining it- but, it's a step, no it's a leap, and a HUGE one at that. I know I still have to get on the darn thing. I know that I still have to make big changes but somehow I know that it will all fall into place. Things are so much easier when you just suck it up and face your fears. There's no going back now...

Thanks for the great advice Liz!

Liz was definitely onto something when she made that statement. A good slick of lipstick always brightens my mood. A little drink on top of that when life begins to unravel? Well, that would just be the icing on the cake. If only it were that simple, right?

All kidding aside, some days, we take every day life WAY too seriously. We make mountains out of molehills and drama takes center stage in our lives. We react instead of act. We freak out instead of letting it go. When we behave like drama kings and queens we lose sight of the things that should really matter in our lives. When we continually focus on the negative, we stop being thankful.  What if we decided to stop making mountains and climb one instead?

Last week, when my car had a major breakdown, I made a choice to NOT freak out and I must say, I’m pretty proud of myself for making that choice.

My youngest kids were driving to Iowa and were 2 1/2 hours away from home when the car died. It happened on a Monday, one of the busiest days of the week for me. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s personal growth, or maybe it’s something entirely different, but, I didn’t freak out. No drama here. Flipping out would have gotten me nowhere. A few years ago, I probably would have had a little meltdown or more likely a  major one. Instead, all I could think of was how thankful I was.

I was thankful that my kids were safe, thankful that I have a coworker that is awesome and goes with the flow, thankful I have a job with flexibility, thankful we had access to a trailer to retrieve my car, thankful my oldest is so incredibly smart and mechanically inclined, thankful that I got to spend unexpected time with my kids, thankful my parents live close and are so gracious with their extra vehicles, thankful we are able to get the car fixed... even though it was a major bummer,  I kept it together. No lipstick (or drink) required!

Everyday we have the opportunity to choose whether we react, freak out, focus on the negative, and let drama take over. Or, we can choose to stay in control, act responsibly, and focus on the positive. We can choose to be thankful for what do have and to be thankful for what is going right in our lives. Things work out so much better when we don’t make that molehill into a mountain.

Unfortunately though, life can be incredibly tough sometimes. We all have have our bad days. And you know what? That’s okay. We are all entitled to an occasional tantrum- OCCASIONAL being the key word here.

Imagine for a moment if we all chose to follow old Liz’s advice and just simply pulled ourselves together every time we faced adversity in our lives. What a crazy, happy, colorful, intoxicated world it would be! Thanks Liz for your words of wisdom. If it were only that simple, right?

P.S. Here’s my disclaimer! I personally do not advocate for ‘taking a drink’ when times get bad, especially if you are a person with an alcohol addiction. However, this quote by Elizabeth Taylor was too good to pass up. 

Plus, if truth be told, I can totally envision myself cracking a cold one, putting on the lip gloss (and big sunglasses of course) and literally “pulling myself together.”

Some days all a girl needs is good gloss and big sunglasses to get through a tough day. A drink would just be icing on the cake!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to you!

As the new year approaches many of us take time to reflect on the past year and look forward to the new one. We resolve to make the upcoming year better than the last. With hopes and dreams we make our resolution lists...

My list is pretty short for 2012. I resolve to live in the moment and to always give back. Not sure what this will all entail yet but I plan to figure it out as I go. Guided by faith, love, hopes, and dreams- my wish is to make the world a better place, one tiny step at a time.

May you ring in 2012 with peace and love!

<---------- P. S. One of my new favorite quotables. Found this on another blog and fell in love!

You are not alone...

For everyone that is feeling the excruciating pain that the loss of a loved one brings this Christmas, please know that you are not alone- not to rejoice because others are hurting, but to take comfort in the fact that others understand your pain and grief.

It was just over a decade ago that my grandpa died on Christmas Eve. Not that he really had any control over his time of death, but, I believe in my heart that he knew Christmas Eve was the only time the entire family would be together. We all got to be with him that night as he slowly faded. He couldn’t have chosen a more perfect time to die- surrounded by the ones that loved the him most. He wouldn’t have had it any other way. And while the memories are still painful, they are peaceful as well. We all still miss him immensely.

I came across the following words last night in book called “The In-Between” by Erica Staab. It’s an incredible and powerful short little book about the journey we take when we are in the process of healing from the depths of the pain and grief that only the loss of a loved one brings.

“When I listen closely I can hear your heart breaking, I don’t have to know what caused you such pain, what tears at the fabric of your heart. I can feel how deep your loss is, I can see the tears held behind your eyes. I can hear the catch in your voice when you say “I’m fine.”

Although all of our journeys look different-
often they begin in the same place-
that of torn faith, of a shattered heart,
of a moment in time where the world stopped
and where life seemed to stand still...”

For everyone reeling from the pain of a lost loved one this Christmas, take comfort in the love that family and friends bring. Know that at sometime in the future, you will be okay. Take comfort in the fact that you are never alone.

Peace and love to everyone this season and Merry Christmas. Wrap yourselves in the arms of your loved ones and rejoice.

The fail of Penn State and society

College football fan or not, odds are you’ve heard about the sexual abuse scandal that has rocked Penn State over the last couple of weeks. In case you missed it, Jerry Sandusky, a 67 year-old former assistant football coach and founder of The Second Mile, originally a group home for at-risk boys and now a charity, was arrested and charged (after a three-year investigation) with 40 criminal counts for allegedly sexually abusing at least eight boys over a 15-year period.

In the fall-out since his arrest, Penn State athletic director Tim Curley and Senior Vice President for Finance and Business Gary Schultz have resigned and been criminally charged. Long-time head football coach Joe Paterno and university president Graham Spanier have been fired and assistant football coach Mike McQueary has been placed on administrative leave.

The abuse of the eight victims in this case dates back to the early 1990’s. It wasn’t until 1998, after an 11 year-old boy was dropped off at home with wet hair after showering with Sandusky, that the first police reports were filed. Sandusky admitted  to the boy’s mother later on that he had showered with her son (and with other boys) and promised never to do it again. The case was eventually closed and no criminal charges filed.

In 2000, a janitor caught Sandusky in the showers performing oral sex on another victim. He did nothing to stop the assault but immediately reported what he saw to other janitorial staff including the supervisor. The supervisor told the janitor who he should report to but the witnessing janitor was a temp worker and failed to make the report. The police were never contacted.

In 2002, McQueary, who was then a graduate assistant at Penn State, walked into the locker room and witnessed Sandusky raping an approximately 10-year old boy in the showers. McQueary did nothing to stop the attack but instead went home and told his father (McQueary later stated that when he left the locker room, the attack had been stopped.)

The next morning, McQueary reported the rape to Paterno who reported the rape to Curley. Later on in the month, McQueary was questioned by Curley and Schulz. McQueary was never questioned by anyone else. Curley later reported to him that Sandusky’s locker room keys were taken from him and that they had alerted the Second Mile. Not a single person contacted the police.

In 2008, yet another victim’s mother reports to her son’s school that he has been sexually assaulted by Sandusky. The school contacted the police department and Sandusky was subsequently barred from the school district. In 2009 an investigation was finally launched. It wasn’t until November 2011 that Sandusky was finally arrested. It took nearly 13 years after the first report for him to be stopped.

As a sexual assault victim’s advocate, mother, and simply as a human being, this story makes my blood boil! Besides the obvious outrage at Sandusky, the failure by several adults to stop a child molester was just as outrageous. I knew I wanted to publicly address this situation but I was struggling to know where to begin. Should I write about how child molesters seek out positions that give them easy access to kids? Do I write about how institutions are masters at protecting the institution and not the people hurt by it? Should I toss out some statistics like “93% of children that are sexually abused know their abuser?” Child safety tips? How to report a sexual assault? How society enables abusers? Or maybe I could talk about the devastating effects of childhood sexual abuse? The possibilities were endless! It took spending some time teaching first graders what to do if somebody tries to hurt them to make it a little clearer for me.

We teach our children to tell someone, to find somebody to believe them, to find an adult to trust if they are sexually abused. Therein lies the problem- as adults we fail-time and time again-to do the right thing for our children when it comes to sexual abuse and it’s aftermath. While Penn State is a failure of epic proportions by adults to do the right thing, in our own communities we fail our children in the same way every single day.

We fail our children when we refuse to believe them when they finally report abuse. We fail our children when we refuse to believe that our spouses, grandparents, brothers, uncles, neighbors, and friends could commit sexual crimes against our children. We fail our children when we make it so difficult for them after they do report abuse that they often times change their story so the adults in their life are no longer upset. We fail our children when they trust us to protect them from harm and we don’t. We fail our children when we don’t trust that nagging feeling in our gut when something just doesn’t seem right about a person or a situation. We fail our children-time and time again- because it’s easier to believe that childhood sexual abuse happens in communities other than our own.

And while it’s hard to believe that there are adults out there that harm our children in the most horrific of ways, it’s even more difficult to believe when the abuser is a person we may know and respect, even more so when it’s a person we may love. Regardless, as adults there is really not an excuse good enough for failing to report child sexual abuse, no matter who the abuser is. There really isn’t an excuse good enough for not believing our children.

All the players in the Penn State scandal failed to do the right thing for Sandusky’s victims. Sadly, but not unexpectedly, since the allegations have arisen more victims have come forward. Stories of sexual abuse by Sandusky are now dating back to the 1970’s. We can only speculate how many children Sandusky has abused over the years. We can only speculate how many victims could have been spared if somebody would have stepped up and done the right thing years ago. As a society we need to stop failing our children- their lives and well-being depend on it.