An 'A' for effort?

I apologize to any of my neighbors who may have nearly fainted at the sight of me behind the lawnmower Saturday afternoon. It’s a sight you’ve probably never witnessed before and probably won’t again any time soon.

I was just trying to be nice to the hub who plans his weeks around his mowing- literally. Saturday was “the day” but he got called to help a buddy shingle at the last minute. I thought, I’ll mow this one time, just to be nice.

Not that I’m fundamentally opposed to mowing, I’d do it regularly if my life depended on it, but thanks to the hub, it doesn’t.  It doesn’t because the hub “banned” me from mowing nearly two decades ago. That’s right B-A-N-N-E-D.

At the time we were living on the farm and I was brand-spanking new to farm life and to the lawn mowing scene, especially a riding lawn mower. Our yard had a very low spot that was in the shape of a circle, so I did the only logical thing to do- I mowed in a circle. Apparently in my hub’s book of mowing regulations, mowing in a circle is a  “mowing violation” and I had just offended in a big way. The hub was not pleased with my mowing strategy and in a rather harsh tone, banned me from the mowing. After all, what would people think?

“Seriously? Did you just ban me from mowing?” I said laughing hysterically. “Maybe if you would have informed me of the “mowing regulations” I would have never violated the rules in such a drastic way.” The hub didn’t find this quite as amusing as I did. Gosh, my mowing days were done before they even got started- sniff, sniff.

We eventually moved to town and I have actually “gotten” to mow a couple of times- but only when the situation was absolutely desperate. He never forgot the mowing violation from years prior choosing to hire youngsters to mow when he couldn’t fit it in. Our own kids even got “the chance” to mow occasionally. It’s probably been a decade since I last cut the grass.

So, I planned my mowing strategy, started the mower and began. Boy would the hub be surprised...

Things were progressing rather nicely until I shut the mower off to move the fire pit rocks. That’s when the mower decided not to start again. Really? Oops!

I tried everything I could think of (which wasn’t enough) before I broke down and called the hub. “Hey, guess what?” I said. “I was mowing...” 

In a rather surprised and concerned tone he said, “What, you were mowing? Mowing?” (As if he didn’t hear me the first time.)

To make a long story short, the mower is now residing in the repair shop. Thanks to our neighbors who let the hub borrow their mower to finish the lawn.

Although he appreciated the effort, we reminisced about our discussion from so long ago...

“There is a reason you don’t mow,” he said. There sure is honey, there sure is!